Insecurities
by C. O. Rosette
Summary: Another one of my very short one-shots. This one revolves around Rainbow Dash's character and her (what else) insecurity. Who knew so much self-loathing lay underneath such a strong, mentally stable-looking, young pegasus?


My name is Rainbow Dash. I'm so awesome. I'm 20% cooler than anyone else. I'm super athletic and can change the weather in Ponyville with a stomp of a hoof. In fact, that's my job. I can produce a sonic rainboom, ripping the seams of time and space as easily as falling off a log.*_* I'm one of Princess Celestia's most loyal pupils and have been the leader of Ponyville's pegasi long before I even personally met her. My dream is to be a Wonderbolt and I know I will one because they love me since I've saved their lives several times (and I'm pretty sure that colt, Soarin' has his eye me:]). I've also got three ponies fighting for my heart. I've saved Equestria countless times and everyone wants to be my friend. All of Ponyville admires me and I even have my very own fan club. Yep. I am so great...

...except for the fact that none of that is true. I'm not really the pony everypony thinks I am, and if they knew that, I'm pretty sure they'd abandon all interest. This comes right from my heart, a place that not much does from in words: Stop believing in me. I'm not worth it. I know I may look like the awesome badass that I am made out to be, but trust me, I'm far from perfect. I still have nightmares that when the next big threat comes to Equestria, I won't be able to stop it.

I feel I should be flattered. At least my close friends, Celstia's five other apprentices, A.J., Pinkie, Rare, Fluttershy, and Twilight, and Spike, care about me and know my capabilities, right? I wish I could really live up to their assurances, but I can't. Although I may seem like I can do so many great things, they're nothing but just a really big show I put on to entertain everyone while my other friends do the actual important things. What more is a sonic rainboom anyway than a pretty decoration? Sure I used it to rescue Rarity and the Wonderbolts just once. But after I did it again a few times, I realized how it kind of just wore out it's grandeur. Then I began to think, what if I hadn't saved them because they didn't need to be saved. Would I still have won? That's all I am, a scapegoat and a prop for convenience. Think about it: Applejack runs Ponyville's local farm and harvests apples among other things for everyone. Ponies come from all over just to get a taste of her spectacular cider, and the business earns her family and even extended family loads of money. Pinkie helps Mr. and Mrs. Cake run Sugarcube Corner as well as take care of their babies. Rarity makes beautiful dresses while Fluttershy's whole house is basically Ponyville's local, animal shelter. Twilight runs the library and is Celestia's most trusted student and the representative for Ponyville with Spike as her assistant, and he's just a baby! They're all so amazing. I don't deserve my their awe. Guys, please listen when I say this, "I beg you to forget about the faith you hold in me. I swear that one day it will fail. One day, you will find that I will not be able to surpass even your lowest expectations, and when that day comes, you will be disappointed, _UTTERLY_ disappointed."

Fluttershy, you've been my best friend since we were still little fillies up in Cloudsdale. I know I might get annoyed with you sometimes...okay, fine, _most_ of the time. But that's only because I know you so well. You know me well too. Everything I'm good at as well as all of my faults, they never get past you. You're the most understanding pony I've ever known, the very nicest, so nice that maybe you're just a little too nice. I wish you'd just let me know when I can't do this or achieve that. I know you have the knowledge, and it would really help if you just came out and told me. Fluttershy, you don't know how wonderful you really, truly are. You are adept to so much. I just don't get why you don't have any confidence in yourself. It should be you, really, that's the leader of the pegasi, not me. I should be the hermit who's unfit to talk to anyone. Hay, you live with all sorts of little animals who care for you. I guess no pony really ever cared about me in that manner, seeing as I live alone with Tank who is kind enough to be my faithful roomie:P (not that I deserve it), and you're the one I found him through anyway. Do you remember when Twilight's brother and Princess Cadence got married, and we were fighting off all those changelings that were disguising themselves to look exactly like us? You were surrounded by five of them that were me (little did you know, _I_ was actually one of them:P), and I saved you from their foul grasps. Then, do you remember when I kissed you? It was just a quick peck on the lips, but still, nonetheless, a kiss. I don't know why I did it, I think it was just that, since we've known each other for so long, maybe it would be possible... I just had to know, but- after it was all said and done, well, I guess I knew all along...even you, Fluttershy, are too good for me...

Then there's Pinkie Pie...Pinkie, I don't know what you see in me. If we were ever to be together, your heart would end up broken because I'm just not good enough for you...Find someone who actually has a purpose in this life, because I'm not nor will I ever be what you're looking for. I heard Bubbleshooter of the Wonderbolts is single. He's more in you're league than I am.

But, alas, maybe there is some hope, some small spark of potential that might possibly be buried somewhere deep, down in my worthless bones. I'm just waiting for that one pony, _that **one **pony_ to come along and show me what I'm good for...Until then, I don't know why I'm still here...


End file.
